almost done...

got one more midterm tomorrow (math). chem was pretty bad... i had no idea how to do two of the questions (one was worth nine marks...)... :\ well, i did what i could. i already accepted the fact that i'm gonna fail before the exam started *rolls eyes* i started studying the evening before for the class i'm most behind in, so it really is my fault. :( kind of sad, but i'll try hard to make it up during the final (which is worth 4 times this one. really)

so yeah. i SO really would like to hang out on friday... but i can't. DAMNIT. :( i'm sorry. today is dan's and my ten month and i've been really shitty to him lately (exams... EXAMS DESTROY US ALL) and i feel really bad about it. i've gotta write part of my eng paper and redo my resume (for AgSci) and study for math... all for tomorrow! so nothing for us for today so he made me promise i'd save friday for him (i'm working sat and sun)... so yeah. okay, i know you're all probably like, ahhh ("all"=LILY) because you think i spend all my time with him... and it's true, i do. but like... most of the time we do homework together (in each other's presence... not like, help each other. we're taking completely different classes) or i'm studying studying studying and he's reading or something... so it's not the same... we hardly actually ever go out like we used to. school and all... but like, around our month anniversary things, we usually make more of an effort :( i'm sorry... i haven't gone out with anyone else in the longest time... (joanne's bday?)

so... once again, i'm supposed to do more english. english is SO POO AHH....

so yeah. hmm... yeah, aaron, sorry, my gaydar's pretty shitty. but if i were you, my convo with your coworker guy would go more like:

Me: I have a present for you
Marcus: Huh? [confused look]
[give him the candy]
Marcus: Oh... awww....
Me: And I know it's not watermelon (he doesn't like watermelon)
Marcus: Awww....
Me: Yeah... now you owe me! Haha, just kidding!
Marcus: [laughs] Okay, I'll take you out to lunch sometime.
Me: [stunned] Really?
Marcus: Yeah.
Me: [long pause] Really??
Marcus: [nods]
Me: [shorter pause] Are you gay?
Marcus: ...[pause] ...YES!!! Oh Aaron, you finally know the truth.... so I'll just come right out and say it: I LOVE YOU!!! I always have and I always will... Oh aaron... all those times I've looked at you shyly from across the room... You never noticed me. But no more hiding! ... I remember last week, when you were leaving, and I said "bye" and you didn't even hear me. I gave you a sad wave... wondering when I'd see you again... but you never even turned to look back... but now you're right here, with me... and I never want you to leave me... please, Aaron, say you'll be mine...
Me: [stunned] wow... of course, Marcus...

three years later, the happy couple is still together :)

so yeah. oh... okay, i just realised i may have overdramatized just a bit... and i just want to make sure you don't take it the wrong way. i'm not mocking you, aarie... just to clarify... was just kind of typing as i imagined it... it was really happy in my twisted head, okay? :( someone will come. just wait. you're still really young.

joanne: don't let school rule your life. true, my grades have dropped since i started thinking that way, but i'm so much happier. it's not like i don't study... i just... don't... take tests and things too seriously. i know when it's over and i look back, i'm not gonna be like, "hey, i remember that derivative test i took in November in first year at UBC... god, that was hard..." when you look back, it's just like... overall, how things were, y'know? just try to put things in perspective :)

know what i noticed? y'know the panic at the disco song? "...i can't help but to hear, no i can't help but to hear an exchanging of words: what a beautiful marriage, what a beautiful marriage said the bridesmaid to the waiter, and yes but what a shame the poor groom's bride is a whore. ...i'd chime in, haven't you people ever heard of closing the goddamn door..." etc? well it used to play like that but recently on the radio, they've been censoring it... "whore" for one, which isn't really crazy or anything, but also "god" in "goddamn door" isn't that weird? so it goes "the poor groom's bride is a shhh... i'd chime in, haven't you people ever heard of closing the [pause]damn door?" isn't that stupid?

i heard on the radio today that canada post received some gay hate mail pamphlet thingies... and they really didn't want to send it out, but it's against the law to censor mail... so they felt obligated to... i was like ahh that's stupid... they should be able to censor it! then i realised no, i don't think they should. but at the same time, i didn't think that hate mail should just be allowed to pass through canada post like that... that's horrible and ridiculous. i don't know what to think anymore...

ann: midterms over yet?

gotta do homework... i'll try to give you guys a call on friday :)

chels

ps- thanks, aarie, for the eng topic. it's going pretty well. kind of... :)