i also want to be a pastry chef!

aarie, i'm so happy for you. things sound so good! and you seem happier than normal, which is really cool. you deserve the goodness of things :)

lily, as long as one of you takes the first step to talk to the other after the argument (which is always the hardest 'cause you don't want to be "weak" and admit you're "wrong"... or at least that's how i feel)... ie, as long as one of you decides that your relationship is not worth straining over whatever the argument may be (and in some cases, maybe this is not true... depends) then you'll be okay. also, i find dan just frustrates me when i try to HINT at things that i want. it's not that he doesn't want to make me happy or whatever but just that he responds more easily when i just TELL him what i'm trying to say... i hope you feel better. best luck on the interview. relax and do your best. that's all you can do.

ann, WHY DID YOU NOT WITHDRAW THE UNDERWEAR GAME FROM YOUR BAG???

so on another note, i'm really annoyed at phys 12 because the class is friggin' FIVE DAYS A WEEK. not that it's started yet... but it's really restricting. so... i know july is kinda gonna suck. hopefully, we will be going camping, however (i've never been). i mean dan and me. but britta and matt too, i think... and you guys are totally welcome if you're interested!

unfortunately for me (and perhaps dan) while my parents are gone, they have decided to not leave me any money (not that i'm mad or anything. it's just like, eh, okay.) so i'm gonna hafta be more careful with how i'm spending my money. on my quest to save up for my dream home, i have allocated more money into a term deposit to keep me from spending it. i still have money in the bank (just over $100). however, i owe dan $108 for my macroecon textbook. poop. (and don't tell my to buy secondhand from anyone, lily... i've had enough anger issues with the used micro text. not that it was your fault! i'm just saying. bad things happen with me and used textboooks that have ANSWERS ALL OVER THE PAGES AND HIGHLITER!!!). so... i'll have about... $30 bucks left.

it's okay though 'cause mom isn't leaving for 2 weeks which means i'll get one more paycheque before i will need to mostly buy for myself. eegrrrr

oh yeah, so i'm kinda really excited (in an anticlimactic, not-really-excited kind of way) because the other day i saw an ad for those new apartments in richmond (the ones by the canada line) and the appartments were about 250,000 or something and it said you could buy with 10% down... i thought about it, and i think dan and i combined have about enough for that... the 10% i mean. NOT THAT WE'RE THINKING OF BUYING..!!! no way. not going back to richmond!!! but it's just like... i kinda felt... safe. i felt really good... like the ad was saying "you're on the right track"... y'know? like, i'm not trying to say ooooh we've got a lot of money look at us or ANYTHING like that (most of the money of dan is actually probably going to go towards his education anyways and a lot of mine will too, in the end... so in reality, we don't have a lot of free spending money) but it's just like... well, i remember in grade 12 when i would feel so trapped and so fucking STUCK, and i would tell dan how i felt like i would never get out of here and he assured me i would, just NOT YET... but i just felt so... so constricted and confined in the situation that it was really hard to imagine ever getting out. but when i saw that ad, it was like, you know, you really can do it... you will get out.

and i mean, things have improved a lot since grade 12, but there will still always be a part of me that feels the need to... kind of... do my own thing and just... break out of this. and now i really get a sense that it is a real, almost tangible, possibility.

so i have hope and optimism that i haven't for a while now just because i trust that things can and will change.

-chelsea