post #300!!! i'd like to dedicate this one to aarie

- i know it's hard
- no, i don't know what it's like (obviously)
- i do know what it's like to not be the most favoured child (yes, no matter what parents say, they do, in fact, often have a favourite child) and to have to defend my views and choices (in your case, coming out, i suppose, was your choice) just because my parents don't see the value of them.

sometimes you feel like no one in the world supports you, understands you... and maybe no one does. but the thing is, your family is (or at least should be, damn it) only interested in what's good for you: what will benefit you, make you happy. maybe your dad doesn't see how being gay is good, so he just wants you to not be. y'know? sometimes this happens (conflict, i mean), and it sucks. but you need to trust that you did what was really best for you. after all, you're the one who, ultimately, has to live with the realities of that decision, non?

maybe you didn't choose to be gay, but at least you chose to come out, right? well, you made that decision and these are the consequences. now you need to trust that this was the right choice and that this is what you want... this is the lesser of two evils, at the very least... and acknowledge that there are people who will say you screwed up, but that there are still people who really care about you and not only tolerate, but like... i don't know, appreciate your gayness... y'know? i mean, i'd like to think we'd still be friends even if you were straight... but because you're gay, we like it better that way :P

family is good when they're there for you. if you have a supportive family, good; i'm happy for you. if you don't, you really do have all of us (i think this is a fair assumption...) as a support system.

sorry if i'm making it sound like you made the wrong decision by coming out (it's kind of looking like it to me when i read it...). i really didn't mean that or mean to imply that. i just meant that sometimes when you make a really big decision ("you" as in "one," not "you, aaron") that was well thought out and really hard to make, and expect those closest of you to accept them, they disappoint you; they make you second guess yourself. i really think, in this case, you did what was best for you, aarie. maybe not easiest, but best. and if you still think that you did what was right even now, years after your initial coming out, then i think it's safe to say you did the "right" thing. the right thing for you, at least. (i mean, as opposed to the best decision for your dad's comfort or something)

-chels

ps- i think the chans can last a teensy bit longer without your potential offspring... though they're probably missing out. (the chan's are missing out on your genes, i mean. i think.)
pps- hope this helps. don't be sad, okay? keep busy. call me if you need to. if i don't get your call i'll call you back.