Staring at a faded memory

For my tv script I'm writing on Lost, I've done lots of reading about characters, places, objects, and all that stuff related to the series to make my script more "lost-y". I've also been reading up on theories about why things are so weird on and off the island, many of which deal with fate. Is fate responsible for our actions? Are our lives pre-determined, and if so, is there any way to change it? And a few weeks ago, we were studying The Matrix and themes around reality. What is real? How is something real determined, when it is merely what your brain and senses interpret? And if that's so, is everything just in our heads? I really like all this philosophical stuff... but definitely makes me question my own life as well as the world around me. I don't know what to trust.

I remember when I was hanging out with you guys and Chels asked, "Wouldn't it be weird if all this time, your friends weren't actually real?" And of course we all thought that was crazy. Were we all meant to be friends?

i don't know what the point of all of this is. I guess I'm just busy contemplating things, which inadvertently make me kinda depressed... combined with the fact that I see Kem all of 2 times a week, at the very most. His piano exam is coming up in about two weeks, and he'd like to stay home the entire two weeks and just practice for it since he thinks he's screwed for it. This means I'll probably see him even less now, despite him telling me that I can still go over to his house and hang out with him for a bit. I mean, I completely understand because I know what it's like to feel screwed, especially for a piano exam, but I guess I also feel like I want a little bit more time, even though he says he'll be completely free after the 22nd (which is his exam day).

A friend told me to talk to him about it, and I have... sort of. At first, I didn't want to ask him for more time because I thought it might sound needy/whiny, but my friend said that when it comes to relationships, it shouldn't be like that. And besides, I don't even see him very much at all. Maybe I'm just a little too passive when it comes to these kinds of things. Sigh.

When Jeremy came over today to pick up your notes, Chels, it was kinda funny cuz he just stood there and said, "Uh..." but I spared him the awkwardness by handing him the book right away. Ah... he's so big now! I remember when he was just a wee lad... haha

We're having an official-ish kind of screening thing for the documentries that we made in part of YouthCO and the NFB on Friday. It starts at 7:00, and we're allowed to bring some friends. Anyone want to come?


~~Aaron