i know what you mean, aarie... dan's majoring (at least for now) in sociology and he analyzes a lot of media related stuff, etc. in his spare time, he reads stuff like the communist manifesto and no logo... he says from what he learns in class, it sometimes makes him depressed.
a while back, i was feeling pretty sad and was thinking about global issues, what i can do, blah blah blah the regular depressed stuff (or at least for me, i shouldn't just speak for everyone) and was thinking... y'know, i don't, in my everyday routine, think about all this. it's only when i stop to think or something triggers me to think about this stuff. and whenever i think about that stuff, it makes me depressed. because i'm acknowledging the crap state things are in.
...which led me to think about how "depression" is seen as a medical condition (ie, if you're depressed, you're not "normal" or "healthy"). the thing is, i sometimes feel like the only time i'm actually being "morally rational" (like, i make sense, morally. i just made that up...) is when i am depressed. like, how normal is it to be like, "oh well, starving people and subhumane living conditions." it's what we do to get through the day, but like... it just doesn't seem rational (assuming we are "moral" beings). it's not normal, i say!!! (perhaps lily can expand on this through her psychological expertise? maybe? i don't know if this is something you've talked about in psych...)
but yeah, like, everyday, at least i (again, don't want to overgeneralize) tend to focus on the immediate and personal... my paper due next week, my boyfriend is mad at me, etc. but when i'm depressed, i think of things in a "bigger picture" perspective... which seems more "normal" to me than self-absorption and stressing over stupid things like "my parents won't let me go to that party..." etc
so yeah, basically what i'm suggesting is that being depressed isn't all bad? depends what kind, i guess... but yeah. thinking critically is not a bad thing, in my opinion.
as for kem, well... it depends on your outlook, i guess. i don't want to define your relationship or tell you what to do, but for me, dan is my best friend first, and my boyfriend second. i tell him everything (even the everyday-not-so-glam-chels stuff! "this stuff exists?!" you ask? yes. it's true...) and let him know what's bothering me. if i want to be with him long term (and vice versa) then we have to be willing to be honest (though tact is recommended!) with each other. how can i trust him if i feel like he's holding back and not telling me things? how can we have an open relationship when he (or i) only tells me (or tell him) good things? how can i trust what he says/his opinion? and again, not suggesting this is the solution for you or anything, but just saying, for me, if i were in your situation and i asked for more time and he dumped me (just an example of ridiculous things), i would, of course, be sad immediately, but ultimately, would i want to stay with a guy who doesn't care about my needs/wants? nope, he can go and screw his self-absorbed-selfness. if i'm going to stay with one guy, he's got to realize what he's got going for him (me, or you, whichever applies) and appreciate that.
lily, oh okay, that makes sense. thanks :)
no one else gets an addressing because you have not posted recently!
sorry your addressing is so short, lily. don't mean to. if you ever have something i can digress on (controversial issues, etc) then i will talk more. oh, maybe i will also say thanks for coming to women in science with me and asking me to do the run!
that's all.
-chels
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