Seems like it's been so long since I've written here. Sorry 'bout that, in case you guys were dying to know what's happening with my life (especially Lily). At least school is finishing up this week. Graduation is on Friday at 3:00. I don't know if any of you guys want to come, but you can if you want.
Apart from school wrapping up, I don't think a whole lot has changed. I got to pitch last week for OutTV, which was an interesting experience to say the least. I suppose it was good to have a taste of light rejection and people suggesting ways to make your stories "better" with what they think should happen... which can be a bit annoying sometimes.
Also last week was the screening/premier of our short films. I was really excited to see mine and everyone else's films, since none of them had been seen by us, the writers before. It was really cool, just to actually see something that all of us had written on the big screen with a large crowd... not only was it humbling but also gratifying, knowing that I now have something to show people and say, "I wrote this." I also got a copy of it from my director (who is awesome) and I'm going to now submit this to as many film festivals as I humanly can. That should be fun.
Speaking of career stuff, I had yet another dreaful talk with my mom about what I'm going to do after graduating. None of these talks ever end well, it seems and we also seem to talk about the same stuff, which irritates me even further. She still wants me to go to school, and thinks what I'm doing (film school) is a waste of time despite going to school right now. Basically, if I can't get transferrable credits to UBC or SFU (I do get credits but they're not transferrable), then I'm "wasting my time", and whatever I try to say to explain to her that it isn't, she doesn't really believe me.
She's giving me until January to "waste time". After that, if I don't apply to any school, she's not going to support me anymore. So yes. She's going to kick me out of the house if I don't go to school. Which I didn't think she would do, but hmm. I guess so. She seems convinced that if I'm not going to school or have a concrete job that I'm going to be wandering around the house doing nothing, which isn't necessarily the case. At one point, I told her, "I'm not wasting my time by doing writing and music." and she replied, "Well, show me! Prove to me you're not wasting your time." That sort of made me angry, which made me say, "Why do I have to even prove anything?" Nothing I say or do seems to make my mom happy or believe in me, so why should I do what she wants? It's my life, as cliche as that is.
Whatever. I feel like my time living with her is coming to an end. Maybe I need to move... maybe out of the city.
I also told my mom about Kem a few days ago. And by Kem, I mean, Kem + me and that we had a relationship a while ago. She kept asking me why he doesn't come around anymore, and I kept telling her that things changed. When she asked what changed, I told her, "We broke up. He was my boyfriend for a while... but then we broke up." And after a few seconds of hearing nothing, I looked up from tying my shoes and she had this disturbed, slightly horrified, confused look. Which was good. She has this image of Kem as the all-around dream son--the degree obtaining, hard-working, intelligent smart guy, who of course couldn't be gay... but oh look. He is... and he was with me for a while too. Too bad for her.
I told Kem about it and he seemed okay. I haven't seen him in about a month or so, which kind of irritates me because I'm always the one making an effort to try and organize stuff that we can do, but he's always either shooting it down because of something he has to do or he's too tired. I don't want to be selfish and be like, "It's all about me!" because it's not. It's about maintaining our friendship and if only one person is trying to do it and the other is just meh about it, then that's not really a friendship, right? So yeah. I told him that, which I think he knows already because I brought it up, and at least we're going to see a movie together tomorrow (part of the Queer Film Festival. I saw 3 films back to back yesterday!)
Sorry this is so long. I'm sure Lily stopped reading a long time ago. Ha. Or maybe she just saw her name right there and decided to keep reading. I guess we should all do something next week? I think that would be the best time for me. I hope you're all doing well with your last exams, "camping trips", and going to LA.
See you all soon!
~~Aaron
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