Cover Letters Will Be the End of Me

Seriously. I have written one test (ie a fake) cover letter, one real cover letter and i can say that so far, it has not been easy.

Resumes are one thing. I actually really enjoy working on my resume. Well, maybe not so much working on it as improving, I guess. It's somewhat a pain, but after, I feel really good about it. With cover letters, well... first of all, it seems to take a minimum of like... 12 hours? Maybe more? It's ridiculous. And in the end, I still don't really feel good about it.

I don't know... I feel so sketched out... I have three cover letters to write for Tuesday and another two for Thursday... Ugh. Part of me wonders what I'm even doing. A voice in my head goes "What? Who are you kidding? You're not qualified for these jobs!" and it's driving me crazy. It's so hard to hold onto my faith, sometimes. Not necessarily religious faith. Just faith in me and my abilities and that everything will work out. In the back of my head, I wonder "What if I don't get a job?" And then nothing. I don't know... Also... Arg. I don't even want to go into it. I just feel like I worked hard to keep all my options open, but some of the things I've done have boxed me in. And although I'm not the greatest with back-up plans, having realized how much I've limited myself is really killing me inside.

I just feel so stupid and... Stuck. Like I put myself here and now I just have to wait and see.

I cut myself with scissors today. So stupid. It's quite deep and hurt like crazy when i was washing it... Jeeeeeez. I'm kind of scared of scissors now. I didn't realize how easily one could cut oneself with them..!

Emm yeah. Don't really know what else to say. I hope everyone is well... Haven't heard from all in a while. I'm sure you're all busy. But keep us updated every once in a while?

I feel so self pitiful and it makes me so mad that I am so pathetic and know how many people would kill to be in the situation I'm in. Arg.......................................... So frustrating.

It's also really hard for me to have people look over my resume/cover letters and be like, this is good, this should be changed, this is a waste of space. I take a lot of care when I write and I know I'm no expert in these topics, but it still hurts a bit. And then I have to keep telling myself not to take it personally because it's for my own improvement. Then I don't feel so bad.

Okay that's all. I hope you guys post soon. I'm lonely. I've just been doing homework and writing stuff for co-op all this time... And sleeping. Lots of sleeping.

Okay-bye!
Chels

ps- sorry I couldn't make it, Aaron. I just knew things would be really tight for time because I had an application (for Health Canada!!!) due the next morning (9am) and I really wanted to make my cover letter as good as I possibly could...